


the last vigil

by coeurlclaws (wetbreadstick)



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Drabble, Gen, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-25 06:54:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12525564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wetbreadstick/pseuds/coeurlclaws
Summary: In the velvet of deep sleep, Hydaelyn comes to you in a dream.





	the last vigil

In the velvet of deep sleep, Hydaelyn comes to you in a dream.

It’s the first time she’s spoken to you in moons, stirring a vast emptiness you hadn’t even noticed before. Her voice touches you like silver, and you feel crystal warm in your blood again.

 _Beloved child,_ she says, and the sound thrums with sadness, _Warrior of Light. Your despair reaches me still. Your troubled heart. I feel it as my own._

You watch the Universe turn circles around you, brilliant lights spinning into distant spiderwebs. The selfsame heart in your chest skips a beat, and you swallow hard, at a loss for words. In the in-between place of the Mother’s home, time whispers to a halt, and cosmos crawls along your skin. She exhales, and you hear it as stardust, as buried memories beginning to warm.

_I will give you a gift._

You raise your eyes to the crystal, body heavy with wonder, lungs tight with an underwater weight. The in-between place hums, and your eyelids drop closed. Time stops with a sigh, and when the wind stills, you open them.

_Treasure it well._

Before you, Haurchefant Greystone stands once more.

Whole. Breathing, bright, smiling with the same radiance that had blinded you when he lived. Your gaze falls to his torso, but where you’d once seen blood and ripped mail is only untorn fabric, smooth skin, a glow that brightens with the pattern of his breaths.

“Oh,” You say, numb, and when he steps forward to hold you it feels like coming home.

Any thought of the Vault is wiped clean by this-- this blazing light, a brilliant love that rips the anguish from you in a breathless moment. Haurchefant is warm, and solid, and _alive_ as you knew him, and he says nothing when you begin to cry.

The tears come as dew, slowly, then when you finally let your grief surface it becomes a cascade. The survivor’s guilt, hero’s regret, loneliness and weight of death spill from you in great, heaving sobs - closure, finally, release in the greatest safety you’ve ever known.

When it subsides, leaving you weak, hollow, he speaks.

“It has been far too long,” He says, fond, and you shake.

“I’m sorry.” Your words come before you can help them, desperate, unspoken through so many moons and battles and discarded sets of armor. “I’m--”

“No,” He interrupts, shushes. “You’ve nothing to apologize for.” A heartbeat pause, and his inhale is calm. “I would do it again, given the chance.”

The tears come again, quieter this time, and you watch them stain the front of his shirt. The world feels slow, like a dream. Like the moments between sleep and waking. Like sinking below water. A strange peace, warm, unwilling to end.

“I wish you had stayed.” You say, and Haurchefant sighs out a long breath.

“If only fate had been so kind.” He murmurs, withdrawing and taking a step back. Immediately, panic flows through you, and your gaze flashes up to catch his eyes. The fear of him leaving is assuaged when he reaches out for you, taking your hands in his. The touch is familiar. Your shoulders sag.

“I want you to come back with me.” You speak again, and your voice cracks - his grip tightens, then, brow furrowing. You know the selfishness of your desire, the impossibility - but even so, it comes forth, raw and pained.

“I’m sorry.” Haurchefant says, and the words are sad. “I cannot follow you.”

Your throat grows tight, and you nod. In his hair and the edges of his skin, you see little stars begin to wink, blurring where he stands in the silvered world. The sound of his voice pitches and fades, like it’s coming from somewhere far-off - for once, from somewhere you can’t go.

“To see you one more time,” He adds, and the sadness is tinged with warmth, “is the greatest gift I could ever receive.”

“I have so many things I want to tell you,” It bursts from you, hiccuping, words stumbling. “All the places I’ve been-- the new things I’ve seen-- learned--” His frame falters, flickering out of sight for a moment. “Don’t leave yet.” A child’s request, pleading.

He nods, smiling, even as his body starts to fade. “I want to know it all.” He urges. The sound of your own heart roars in your ears, panicked, fluttering with the knowledge of oncoming loss. “Will you tell me? Another time?”

You nod again, frantic. The Light in you knows the Mother’s energy wanes - that she can only give you this much, fleeting minutes, shallow gasps of life. “Yes.” You say, and your voice crumbles, breaks - cliffs into the sea, even as your vision blurs over with tears again.

Haurchefant smiles, tender. Through him, you can see glittering stars. “Ever shall I wait for you, then.” He says, and his voice is threaded with joy. Hope. In his eyes, you see home.

The Universe sighs, stars shuddering, and then Haurchefant fades to nothing.

You stare at the empty space, hands tingling with lost warmth, and even as the Mother speaks you can feel your own sorrow rising in a tide.

 _I only wish I could give you more,_ she says, and the world begins to soften around you. _Have heart, beloved child. Nothing is lost forever._ The words are a whisper, a blessing and a promise, and you don’t fight when she lowers you into silent sleep once more.

You close your eyes and let her take you, heart thrumming a steady beat.

 

-

 

When you wake, your eyes are bright.

The air of Ishgard is cold, a knifing bitterness, but with waking comes a new sense - behind the ice and wind is the sound of starlight, and a warmth that beckons you home.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm absolutely sure this concept has been done before but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i'm being self indulgent for once


End file.
